Post by licketysplit07 on Oct 15, 2009 21:05:06 GMT -5
My heart beat furiously as it migrated towards my throat and took residence. I inhaled roughly in a pathetic and fruitless attempt to curb the nerves. I wouldn't doubt it if Jim Morrison himself could hear the commotion I was making from where he lay in the grave. If my heart didn't burst forth from my stomach I would surely go mad from anxiety.
I desperatley searched the silken sky for comfort and reassurance that I would find my way to freedom- just a simple glance at the charming, hypnotic beam of optimism. There it was. My eyes closed as I allowed the moon to embrace me, subtly cascading its humble and soothing glow down on me. I could feel myself glittering in its elegant presence.
The moon wore no mask. The sun is beautiful but greedy, overpowering everything else in the sky, demanding all attention be focused on him. And when I look at him my eyes are instantaneously burned. It wants all creation to know of its power and makes me feel weak in its glory. But not the moon. Oh no, the mysterious crevases of the moon are far more beautiful than the rays of the sun will ever be.
I inhaled again, noticing that my rapid heartbeat had subsided into its traditional throbbing.
In place of my eyes being hindered by the darkness, my ears scanned the area for any sound out of place. All around was silent, save the night winds wail.
I stood up slowly, very aware of the excess sounds. Brushing my backside for any grass or hay that might have clung to me I cast one last glance at the moon from the corn stalks where I had retreated, thanking it for its refreshment.
I let my mind wander as my feet mechanically took me home. I went inside. The usual warmth and spirit these walls were frequently overflowing with had been relpaced with the harsh chill of desolation.
I abruptly stopped at the door, unwilling to go any further. The moons encouragement no longer supported me and the fear of what was ahead beckoned me to run away again. However, something kept me from moving. Neither forward nor backwards did I go. I urged my legs to carry me in one direction or the other- I couldn't continue to stand here swaying back and forth for the rest of the night.
My heart began to act out again. Casually. Moderately. Audibly. Noisily. Emphatically. Roughly. Thunderingly. Obtrusingly. Deafening!
A door shut nearby.
Silently.
I heard the flat thud of shoes walking pause a few feet in front of me. Without glancing up to see who it was I began to count in my head, wishing them away. No words were exchanged as they continues to walk on, disappearing into the room to my left. I looked at the empty doorway and back to the floor, where my eyes retraced the footsteps to the door in front of me which the feet had left.
I timidly began edging forward. Left, right, left, right, left. Beside the door was a pile of dirty bed sheets wadded up and placed on an end table that was not usually sitting there. I grasped the handle and closed my eyes for a bit longer than a standard blink. Inside was the grandest costume of this halloween night. The immortal monster of finality and vulnerability, of which all children are told of. Here I stood waiting- dreading the small, trivial task of twisting the handle so that the bedroom may be revealed to me.
What do they need me for beyond that door? What can I do that isn't already being done? Reassure her of our love? Tell her that we hope she feels better? No. Hope is a meaningless word. What will be, will be and no amount of hoping will change that. All we can do is wait for Death to bare its jaws and reveal his fangs as one by one we each become a faded, distorted memory to people we barely knew and a dusty picture hanging on a wall that no one looks at.
I let my hand fall to my side. Sobs could be heard quietly but distinctly on the other side of the white painted door. Turning around I saw that the person who I had encountered earlier standing with a glass of water in the doorway in which he had disappeared moments before. This time, I braved eye contact. I couldn't tell what he might have been trying to relay through his, nor did I care. I simply turned around and made my way upstairs to my room.
______________
Gah, this sucks. Sorry. I'm not good at just writing and not having an idea of where I'm going to end up. Don't judge me.
I desperatley searched the silken sky for comfort and reassurance that I would find my way to freedom- just a simple glance at the charming, hypnotic beam of optimism. There it was. My eyes closed as I allowed the moon to embrace me, subtly cascading its humble and soothing glow down on me. I could feel myself glittering in its elegant presence.
The moon wore no mask. The sun is beautiful but greedy, overpowering everything else in the sky, demanding all attention be focused on him. And when I look at him my eyes are instantaneously burned. It wants all creation to know of its power and makes me feel weak in its glory. But not the moon. Oh no, the mysterious crevases of the moon are far more beautiful than the rays of the sun will ever be.
I inhaled again, noticing that my rapid heartbeat had subsided into its traditional throbbing.
In place of my eyes being hindered by the darkness, my ears scanned the area for any sound out of place. All around was silent, save the night winds wail.
I stood up slowly, very aware of the excess sounds. Brushing my backside for any grass or hay that might have clung to me I cast one last glance at the moon from the corn stalks where I had retreated, thanking it for its refreshment.
I let my mind wander as my feet mechanically took me home. I went inside. The usual warmth and spirit these walls were frequently overflowing with had been relpaced with the harsh chill of desolation.
I abruptly stopped at the door, unwilling to go any further. The moons encouragement no longer supported me and the fear of what was ahead beckoned me to run away again. However, something kept me from moving. Neither forward nor backwards did I go. I urged my legs to carry me in one direction or the other- I couldn't continue to stand here swaying back and forth for the rest of the night.
My heart began to act out again. Casually. Moderately. Audibly. Noisily. Emphatically. Roughly. Thunderingly. Obtrusingly. Deafening!
A door shut nearby.
Silently.
I heard the flat thud of shoes walking pause a few feet in front of me. Without glancing up to see who it was I began to count in my head, wishing them away. No words were exchanged as they continues to walk on, disappearing into the room to my left. I looked at the empty doorway and back to the floor, where my eyes retraced the footsteps to the door in front of me which the feet had left.
I timidly began edging forward. Left, right, left, right, left. Beside the door was a pile of dirty bed sheets wadded up and placed on an end table that was not usually sitting there. I grasped the handle and closed my eyes for a bit longer than a standard blink. Inside was the grandest costume of this halloween night. The immortal monster of finality and vulnerability, of which all children are told of. Here I stood waiting- dreading the small, trivial task of twisting the handle so that the bedroom may be revealed to me.
What do they need me for beyond that door? What can I do that isn't already being done? Reassure her of our love? Tell her that we hope she feels better? No. Hope is a meaningless word. What will be, will be and no amount of hoping will change that. All we can do is wait for Death to bare its jaws and reveal his fangs as one by one we each become a faded, distorted memory to people we barely knew and a dusty picture hanging on a wall that no one looks at.
I let my hand fall to my side. Sobs could be heard quietly but distinctly on the other side of the white painted door. Turning around I saw that the person who I had encountered earlier standing with a glass of water in the doorway in which he had disappeared moments before. This time, I braved eye contact. I couldn't tell what he might have been trying to relay through his, nor did I care. I simply turned around and made my way upstairs to my room.
______________
Gah, this sucks. Sorry. I'm not good at just writing and not having an idea of where I'm going to end up. Don't judge me.