Post by luckyfriday13 on May 17, 2009 19:05:14 GMT -5
Scabs, blood, and sex [an arranged marriage story] [Xxx] [1] lovers lost.
Chapter One: Old Wounds
“Nickolai! ...Nickolai...” my voice was soft and feeble as I lay in dirt. My pale white arm was crooked behind me, the other being crushed painfully under my own dead weight by my face.
“NICKOLAI!” It took all my strength just to scream his name, so I lay quiet, crying in the dirt, breathing in the cool scent of a desert morning.
He didn’t leave me... I thought. “I’m leaving you,”
He’ll be back... “I’m not coming back,”[/size]
He loves me... “I never loved you, I only wanted your body.”
I cried, “...Nickolai...”
I stared at the welcome mat thinking about the events that led up till now. Nickolaiwas, is my love, my soul mate, and a vampire. With long black hair and a body to die for, I guess that’s what he expected of me; to die. He’s a sadist, to the supreme, playing mind games and more...physical “games” with me, draining me of my freedom and blood till he left me in this damn desert craving him.
The sun was starting to peer over the red-stained Arizona sky. I forgot how beautiful it was. But not as beautiful as Nickolai... Tears ran down silently on my face and I heard stirring coming from inside my parents’ trailer home, the home I vowed never to come back to two years ago, and the home I was laying in front of, blue lipped and half dead.
My eyes began to close and I felt cold despite the rising sun’s rays on my back. Shivering now, I thought about my life of scabs and blood. Nickolai loved me, despite the horrible scars across my face and body, all but gone now. But he loved me for my blood, and only my blood. “I never loved you, I only wanted your body” his words stung me.
Did I ever love him? Or did I make myself love him after what happened? I thought this, my breath coming much more slowly. Have I ever loved anyone more than him...? My Dark Knight? Despite old feelings of grief and the love that filled my body, my eyes became too heavy for me to pick up. I saw the outline of the door in front of me opening and heard my mom’s high pitched scream before I died.
Chapter Two: Death
Dying isn’t as simple as seeing a white light, and heading towards it. And not as painless as that either. First of all, the task of getting your spirit from out of your body is excruciating, and long, at least long in the spirit realm. And the damn spirit realm. It’s worse on the rez because there are always the lost Navajo souls of old people and drunks around crying as I’m trying to pull my spirit from my heavy body. “Help me! They stole my land!” they cry, or “there was no one on the road, I didn’t think drinking one more beer was going to hurt anyone...”
Here I am trying to will my spirit into leaving my body and they want me to help them! Selfish spirits.
I lay in the placenta-like ooze that encases the soul when you come out of your body (if you know that experience) breathing hard on the dirt. You need a lot of strength to pull yourself out of your body. My limbs shook from the effort it took for me to get out.
“GO BACK!” a large voice boomed and I winced, why are they so loud?
“I-can’t-go-back!” I said through my breaths, feeling the searing fire of their power on my back.
“GO BACK! THIS IS NOT YOUR TIME!” their voices became louder as they came closer to me. Who were they? Only the gods of this forsaken land, First Man and First Woman. “GO BACK!” they yelled again.
“I-can’t-I’m-too-tired!” I tried to explain. “AH!” I screamed as their hands picked me up.
Careless, they are so careless; they always forget how fragile my spirit is.
“GO BACK!” and they carried me back to my body, putting me back inside.
Yeah, that’s right, I came back.
Chapter Three: Rebirth
Taking one huge gasp I sat up, and coughed on an old beaten couch, my old beaten couch-or my parent’s.
I was alive, again. It’s a little parlor trick I learned at birth.
“Oh thank the gods!” arms wrapped around my sore body and I screamed, my body felt like it had just been put in a meat grinder. “Sam, she’s awake!” that was my mom’s arms around me, and her high pitched scream in my ear.
“Get-off-me!” I yelled. She released me too quickly and my body slammed painfully back on the couch.
“Deeyeneé, stop that,” that was my father’s voice, calm and quiet; I breathed a sigh of relief. “She’s tired, we must let her get her strength back, she’ll need it for tonight.”
For the first time since my rebirth I opened my eyes and gasped at the brightness of everything. One of the perks of being able to be reborn is the awesome supernatural senses, but it was wasted on a place like this. The inside of the trailer my parents lived in was never the top of fashion. Plaid, flower patterns, and family portraits lined the walls; it looked as if my mother had just thrown anything colorful in the room and hoped it worked. The air smelled strongly of cooking grease and cigarettes. There weren’t any windows and the only light came from the harsh florescent light above. With my sight I could see the dust motes floating around, the colorful, rainbow-like, light spectrum reflecting from it. If I focused I could see the aura of every living thing in this room, from my father's sturdy brownish-orange rust, to the simple white noise coming from the roach in the bathtub. I sucked in my breath and the auras disappeared. I came back to the present.
Ignoring my mom’s surprised eyes; I turned towards my father and glared at his dark serious ones instead. “What do you mean ‘for tonight’?” I yelled my strength was slowly trickling back into my veins like little sparkles of fire under my skin.
My father stared at me with his almost black eyes quietly, and I took the time to take in the way he looked, I had forgotten in these years I’ve lived away from him. Sammael Tsosie was tall, that’s what I remembered most about him, his head just barely missed the top of the trailer’s ceiling. Copper skinned, black hair, and almond shaped brown eyes, the typical Native appearance. My eyes shot down to take in my mom's appearance. Deeyeneé [pronounced DNA] Tsosie was short, shorter than me and my father both, and had dyed her hair a nasty blondish color from what I remembered her. I tsked a little, I had actually liked her blue-ish black natural hair, and now her hair only matched her annoying high pitched blondie voice. Stupid.
"Don't call your mother stupid." I growled and looked up at my father.
"GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD!" I screeched sitting up too quickly from the couch. For a minute the trailer swirled around me, and then his arms were around me. "Let. go."
My father let me go softly against the couch, much gentler than my mom. "I'm trying to help you," he said his voice gruff.
I looked into his eyes and flinched. Damn, he's serious. And then a thought came back to me. "You only want to help me so I can serve your stupid vampire lord!" I sneered. That's right. He never really cared for me... My own father is just like Nickolai, and like...all the other men in my life. I couldn't even bring myself to say his name. The man of my dreams and nightmares, the lord of all dark and sinister, and the King of the Vampires.
"Damn it Jóhonaa'eí, you just don't understand!" He gripped my wrists in his large hot hands, and my mom squeaked beside him. He looked into my eyes, hard brown eyes pleading with my own blue ones.
"LET GO OF ME!" I screamed struggling against him. Damn you-you fucking mind reading freak! I thought with as much malice as I could muster.
He winced but continued to look in my eyes seriously. "I can't explain it to you... You have to understand for yourself. I would never be like that man," his fingers brushed against the cold scar of a fang mark on my neck. "And...I never meant to hurt you."
I was quiet and still, for once in my life. At first I thought about what he said, seriously considering it. He loves me...? And there's more to this King Vampire story than just a prophecy? Then I felt his gentle pressure in my mind, listening to what I was thinking and I shut down completely. I glared at his surprised face. "Yeah, I can keep you out of my head now, it's a new trick I learned from the blood thirsty vampires that treated me with more love than you ever have." His grip loosened some in surprise, I turned on the heat, letting the seething rage twisting and churning in my belly to be exposed in my voice, "So excuse me if I don't go jumping for joy over your little profession of love." I leaned in a bit closer to him, baring my teeth like some wild animal, maybe that's what I am now... "Because no matter what you say, daddy, I will never love you-or even trust you. Believe it or not, I don't want to marry the King of the very beast that killed me a few hours ago, the man you are planning to take me to tonight. AND IF YOU DON'T LET GO OF ME, I WILL RIP YOUR ARM FROM YOUR FUCKING SOCKET!!"
After only a moment of hesitation he let me go and I blinked back my surprise, a feeling of smugness rising in my chest; that was the first time I ever one against my father. And why shouldn't he believe me? I've been gone for two years and I obviously learned a few more tricks... Despite the little mind trick I learned in my trip to the dark and cold world of vampires, I hadn't really learned anything else. I was still a weak human with unusual sight. But I'd be keeping that to myself from now on.
My father had turned away from me during my retreat into my own mind and my mom stood by him chirping wordlessly. He spoke to the wall now, "Rest. You will see Master Kariya in the morning.....It's not my order, but his."
My heart and every part of my being froze. He said his name... My eyes widened and my vision flooded into me, much brighter than ever before. I couldn't keep it from my eyes this time. I was frozen in time, a butterfly pinned for examination. My father's usually neutral brown aura was supported by my mom's bright citrus orange and yellow aura, but this time it wasn't brown-it was a washed out red-the color of regret and pain. I fought to breathe, to will my heart to beat, and my vision swirled and I stared at him as through double vision lenses.
His eyes were a dark brown mirror of that sickly aura wrapping itself tightly around him, "I'm sorry..."
I don't know how much time had passed. I didn't feel hungry, tired, or any emotion. As the auras in the house shifted from emotion to emotion I could only see, hear, taste, and feel his name, his existence,
"Jin Kariya."
Chapter One: Old Wounds
“Nickolai! ...Nickolai...” my voice was soft and feeble as I lay in dirt. My pale white arm was crooked behind me, the other being crushed painfully under my own dead weight by my face.
“NICKOLAI!” It took all my strength just to scream his name, so I lay quiet, crying in the dirt, breathing in the cool scent of a desert morning.
He didn’t leave me... I thought. “I’m leaving you,”
He’ll be back... “I’m not coming back,”[/size]
He loves me... “I never loved you, I only wanted your body.”
I cried, “...Nickolai...”
I stared at the welcome mat thinking about the events that led up till now. Nickolai
The sun was starting to peer over the red-stained Arizona sky. I forgot how beautiful it was. But not as beautiful as Nickolai... Tears ran down silently on my face and I heard stirring coming from inside my parents’ trailer home, the home I vowed never to come back to two years ago, and the home I was laying in front of, blue lipped and half dead.
My eyes began to close and I felt cold despite the rising sun’s rays on my back. Shivering now, I thought about my life of scabs and blood. Nickolai loved me, despite the horrible scars across my face and body, all but gone now. But he loved me for my blood, and only my blood. “I never loved you, I only wanted your body” his words stung me.
Did I ever love him? Or did I make myself love him after what happened? I thought this, my breath coming much more slowly. Have I ever loved anyone more than him...? My Dark Knight? Despite old feelings of grief and the love that filled my body, my eyes became too heavy for me to pick up. I saw the outline of the door in front of me opening and heard my mom’s high pitched scream before I died.
Chapter Two: Death
Dying isn’t as simple as seeing a white light, and heading towards it. And not as painless as that either. First of all, the task of getting your spirit from out of your body is excruciating, and long, at least long in the spirit realm. And the damn spirit realm. It’s worse on the rez because there are always the lost Navajo souls of old people and drunks around crying as I’m trying to pull my spirit from my heavy body. “Help me! They stole my land!” they cry, or “there was no one on the road, I didn’t think drinking one more beer was going to hurt anyone...”
Here I am trying to will my spirit into leaving my body and they want me to help them! Selfish spirits.
I lay in the placenta-like ooze that encases the soul when you come out of your body (if you know that experience) breathing hard on the dirt. You need a lot of strength to pull yourself out of your body. My limbs shook from the effort it took for me to get out.
“GO BACK!” a large voice boomed and I winced, why are they so loud?
“I-can’t-go-back!” I said through my breaths, feeling the searing fire of their power on my back.
“GO BACK! THIS IS NOT YOUR TIME!” their voices became louder as they came closer to me. Who were they? Only the gods of this forsaken land, First Man and First Woman. “GO BACK!” they yelled again.
“I-can’t-I’m-too-tired!” I tried to explain. “AH!” I screamed as their hands picked me up.
Careless, they are so careless; they always forget how fragile my spirit is.
“GO BACK!” and they carried me back to my body, putting me back inside.
Yeah, that’s right, I came back.
Chapter Three: Rebirth
Taking one huge gasp I sat up, and coughed on an old beaten couch, my old beaten couch-or my parent’s.
I was alive, again. It’s a little parlor trick I learned at birth.
“Oh thank the gods!” arms wrapped around my sore body and I screamed, my body felt like it had just been put in a meat grinder. “Sam, she’s awake!” that was my mom’s arms around me, and her high pitched scream in my ear.
“Get-off-me!” I yelled. She released me too quickly and my body slammed painfully back on the couch.
“Deeyeneé, stop that,” that was my father’s voice, calm and quiet; I breathed a sigh of relief. “She’s tired, we must let her get her strength back, she’ll need it for tonight.”
For the first time since my rebirth I opened my eyes and gasped at the brightness of everything. One of the perks of being able to be reborn is the awesome supernatural senses, but it was wasted on a place like this. The inside of the trailer my parents lived in was never the top of fashion. Plaid, flower patterns, and family portraits lined the walls; it looked as if my mother had just thrown anything colorful in the room and hoped it worked. The air smelled strongly of cooking grease and cigarettes. There weren’t any windows and the only light came from the harsh florescent light above. With my sight I could see the dust motes floating around, the colorful, rainbow-like, light spectrum reflecting from it. If I focused I could see the aura of every living thing in this room, from my father's sturdy brownish-orange rust, to the simple white noise coming from the roach in the bathtub. I sucked in my breath and the auras disappeared. I came back to the present.
Ignoring my mom’s surprised eyes; I turned towards my father and glared at his dark serious ones instead. “What do you mean ‘for tonight’?” I yelled my strength was slowly trickling back into my veins like little sparkles of fire under my skin.
My father stared at me with his almost black eyes quietly, and I took the time to take in the way he looked, I had forgotten in these years I’ve lived away from him. Sammael Tsosie was tall, that’s what I remembered most about him, his head just barely missed the top of the trailer’s ceiling. Copper skinned, black hair, and almond shaped brown eyes, the typical Native appearance. My eyes shot down to take in my mom's appearance. Deeyeneé [pronounced DNA] Tsosie was short, shorter than me and my father both, and had dyed her hair a nasty blondish color from what I remembered her. I tsked a little, I had actually liked her blue-ish black natural hair, and now her hair only matched her annoying high pitched blondie voice. Stupid.
"Don't call your mother stupid." I growled and looked up at my father.
"GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD!" I screeched sitting up too quickly from the couch. For a minute the trailer swirled around me, and then his arms were around me. "Let. go."
My father let me go softly against the couch, much gentler than my mom. "I'm trying to help you," he said his voice gruff.
I looked into his eyes and flinched. Damn, he's serious. And then a thought came back to me. "You only want to help me so I can serve your stupid vampire lord!" I sneered. That's right. He never really cared for me... My own father is just like Nickolai, and like...all the other men in my life. I couldn't even bring myself to say his name. The man of my dreams and nightmares, the lord of all dark and sinister, and the King of the Vampires.
"Damn it Jóhonaa'eí, you just don't understand!" He gripped my wrists in his large hot hands, and my mom squeaked beside him. He looked into my eyes, hard brown eyes pleading with my own blue ones.
"LET GO OF ME!" I screamed struggling against him. Damn you-you fucking mind reading freak! I thought with as much malice as I could muster.
He winced but continued to look in my eyes seriously. "I can't explain it to you... You have to understand for yourself. I would never be like that man," his fingers brushed against the cold scar of a fang mark on my neck. "And...I never meant to hurt you."
I was quiet and still, for once in my life. At first I thought about what he said, seriously considering it. He loves me...? And there's more to this King Vampire story than just a prophecy? Then I felt his gentle pressure in my mind, listening to what I was thinking and I shut down completely. I glared at his surprised face. "Yeah, I can keep you out of my head now, it's a new trick I learned from the blood thirsty vampires that treated me with more love than you ever have." His grip loosened some in surprise, I turned on the heat, letting the seething rage twisting and churning in my belly to be exposed in my voice, "So excuse me if I don't go jumping for joy over your little profession of love." I leaned in a bit closer to him, baring my teeth like some wild animal, maybe that's what I am now... "Because no matter what you say, daddy, I will never love you-or even trust you. Believe it or not, I don't want to marry the King of the very beast that killed me a few hours ago, the man you are planning to take me to tonight. AND IF YOU DON'T LET GO OF ME, I WILL RIP YOUR ARM FROM YOUR FUCKING SOCKET!!"
After only a moment of hesitation he let me go and I blinked back my surprise, a feeling of smugness rising in my chest; that was the first time I ever one against my father. And why shouldn't he believe me? I've been gone for two years and I obviously learned a few more tricks... Despite the little mind trick I learned in my trip to the dark and cold world of vampires, I hadn't really learned anything else. I was still a weak human with unusual sight. But I'd be keeping that to myself from now on.
My father had turned away from me during my retreat into my own mind and my mom stood by him chirping wordlessly. He spoke to the wall now, "Rest. You will see Master Kariya in the morning.....It's not my order, but his."
My heart and every part of my being froze. He said his name... My eyes widened and my vision flooded into me, much brighter than ever before. I couldn't keep it from my eyes this time. I was frozen in time, a butterfly pinned for examination. My father's usually neutral brown aura was supported by my mom's bright citrus orange and yellow aura, but this time it wasn't brown-it was a washed out red-the color of regret and pain. I fought to breathe, to will my heart to beat, and my vision swirled and I stared at him as through double vision lenses.
His eyes were a dark brown mirror of that sickly aura wrapping itself tightly around him, "I'm sorry..."
I don't know how much time had passed. I didn't feel hungry, tired, or any emotion. As the auras in the house shifted from emotion to emotion I could only see, hear, taste, and feel his name, his existence,
"Jin Kariya."