Post by silent.lullaby on May 15, 2009 12:05:42 GMT -5
It was late enough, Douglas, Viktor and Markus went out to start digging the grave. I was sterilizing three knives. “You okay?” I turned quickly, I hadn’t been expecting anyone, everyone busy, Colleen watching the kids while I prepared my part. Lukas stood there and I felt nervous. Was he going to go through with this after my father told him the truth of the ritual?
“Not really,” I replied honestly after a moment as I continued preparing the knives.
“I’m going to do it,” he said stepping in. “Don’t worry about it.”
“It could go bad,” I said slowly.
“I’m aware,” he responded. “I’ve spent a considerable amount of time with this group you have here. Grown attached.” He sat down on the desk I was working at. “I haven’t been able to look Alana in the eye since it happened. Not like she’s been looking anywhere but Griever. It’s bad enough to loose one, but you know you’d loose the other too.”
“You don’t have to do this,” I said giving him the chance to opt out. “We wouldn’t think less of you.”
“You say this now,” Lukas said with a light laugh. “It wouldn’t be the same though. Besides, I mean what I said, I’ve grown attached. Like you, I won’t let a friend die with out a fight.”
I nodded and we were silent for a moment. “If I ask you a question, would you answer honestly?”
Lukas studied me for a moment, “of course.”
“Do... do you think I’m a bad mom,” I grumbled unable to look up and meet his eyes.
“Angelique... being a mother... it-it isn’t about being a great cook, or an excellent house keeper like you mentioned. Its about making the tough decisions, about protecting, nurturing, loving your child. I know you have done things most mothers would never be able to do.” Lukas said, his words crisp.
“Protecting...” I murmured. “I’m going to have to cut my child for his blood. That’s harming my son.”
“He will heal, just like I will, just like you will.” Lukas said, when I stayed silent, he continued. “You are teaching him a great lesson. To protect the ones you love. To fight for the ones you love. To never give up, such strong lessons many of us learn too late.”
I finished with the blades and wrapped them in cloth, I looked up at Lukas after a while, “thanks.”
He shrugged, “I know my words mean little to you next to the words of your father.” I opened my mouth to argue but he cut me off before I could begin. “Don’t deny it. He is your father, you spent your entire life following his orders, of course he isn’t happy you’ve gone against his wishes, and you aren’t happy because he’s let you have it. Harsher than any father ever should. Until he apologizes or complements you, you won’t feel right, you’ll keep questioning yourself.”
“I know,” I replied after a minute. I needed my father. Needed him to think I was good. I spent my life trying to please him, not piss him off. All the years I spent being a pleaser, one screaming match erased all good I’d ever done.
Lukas ruffled my hair affectionately, “he will come to his senses eventually.”
“What if he is right.”
“Angelique, your mothering skills-“
“Not about that... I’m worried about that, but I mean, what if he is right about tonight. What if... what if we don’t raise Griever, but just his body?”
“Then we will have to kill him again. For real.” Lukas responded. “I know it will be more difficult, but do we just let him stay dead? Do we let Alana walk out into the sunlight to turn to ash? Do we loose two friends in one night?”
I stood, “no, we don’t.”
He smiled sadly at me, “that’s right. We take care of each other. This world isn’t a very happy, peaceful place right now. We got to take care of our own.”
I nodded. “I have to get Alaric... and Adeline.”
“They won’t let each other out of each other’s sight?”
I shook my head with a faint smile. “They are so attached to each other.”
Lukas smiled, “how about I go and get them? You go talk to your father?”
I bit my bottom lip, “I doubt he wants to see me.”
“Don’t let bad blood spoil your relationship with your father. What if something does go wrong? Don’t let those words be the last to your father.”
I kicked the ground lightly a few times as I stared at the floor. I felt like a child being scolded by someone more wise than myself. “Your right,” I admitted eventually, as I looked up at him, “but I can’t face him. Not in light of what I’m about to do. He’s right.”
I walked past Lukas and into the hallway, he followed, “your father is a stubborn man.”
“I know I’m waiting for an apology that will never come.” I replied quickly, “I did live with him for most of my life. I know what he’s like to be around. He always thinks he’s right, and in most cases, he is.”
“But it could be the last thing...”
“I can’t think like that,” I argued a little more heatedly than I had intended. “I can’t think that this is going to go bad, that I could possibly die, because that leaves little hope for my son. I can’t think like that. I won’t.”
I turned and opened the door. Seth was still in bed, the children were drawing in charcoal. I walked over to Seth leaving Lukas at the door. I sat at his bedside, “how are you feeling.”
Seth smiled, he had such an adorable smile, a childish smile. Still I could see how much he’d aged in such a short span of time. “I’ve been better,” he looked at the children who didn’t seem to be paying any attention to our conversation, “do you think Griever will really raise?”
I shrugged, “I can’t not do something.”
“I wish I could do something,” Seth said quietly before coughing.
“You just get better,” I said placing my hand lightly on his chest before getting up and walking over to my children. “You guys ready to go?”
Alaric looked to Adeline then to me, “she stays.”
“No I don’t!” Adeline argued.
“Yes you do!”
“Nuhuh!”
“Children!” I intervened. “Addie, you don’t need to come.”
“I want to, I want to be with you and daddy and Rick.”
I fumbled to answer I couldn’t tell which would be worse, to separate them to protect them or to keep them apart to protect them. Which was safest? Adeline had already proven to be a force to be reckon with. Still I didn’t want to endanger her. Still she had developed her Soul Child abilities why Alaric’s Night Child abilities were growing. I mulled it over. “Alright, but you two stay together at all times, okay.”
They both agreed though while Adeline seemed chipper about it, Alaric seemed discontent and agitated.
Outside the air was brisk, I had the children dressed warmly, while my bare arms hardly even felt the lashes of the wind.
We walked, Alana sat hovering over Griever still. I had a pit of worry that she wouldn’t let us take him much less burry him. Helena and Markus stood at the side, spectators. The children went over to Viktor, hugging him with affection. “Markus, Helena,” I greeted them solemnly. “May I ask you a favour?”
“Of course, anything.” Helena responded quickly. I looked to Markus who nodded, his hand around Helena’s back.
“If... if this goes bad,” I looked to Markus who seemed guilty so I knew he was more aware of the ‘resurrection situation’ than most, “please get my children out of here.”
Helena looked sadly at me, “of course.”
“Nothing will go wrong.” Markus assured placing a careful hand onto my shoulder, “he’ll get back to the surface and tomorrow everything will be right back to normal.”
“Right,” I responded quietly before walking over to where Lukas and Alaric stood, Viktor and Adeline close by. I took out the knives and grabbed Alaric’s arm, “you don’t have to do this,” I offered him an out.”
He looked to the knife then to me then to the mound of dirt which he knew Griever had been buried under, then back to me, “I want to.”
“This will hurt,” I whispered. I cut his arm quickly and pulled it over the chalice. I looked at him, his face distorted in pain as he hissed I heard Adeline quietly crying. I looked up and seen her in Viktor’s arms, he was murmuring comfort into her ear. I kissed his forehead and when there was enough blood I put my hand over the wound healing it quickly even though I knew his body could do the same. I kissed his forehead, “you are a very brave boy, a little hero.”
He smiled at me before turning around and going to his father and sister. Lukas went next cutting his arm quickly and bleeding over the chalice, he had to cut a few times since the wounds would heal faster than he would bleed.
Finally it was my turn, I heard Adeline cry out as I cut my skin, I looked over my shoulder as I kept my arm over the jewelled chalice, “don’t worry sweety, I’m okay.” She looked at me with wide watery eyes, pouting lips. Now that the blood of three were there I healed up and stirred the blood with my knife.
I stood and walked over to the mound of dirt. Alana was kneeling nervously, fidgeting, her nails biting into the ground. She looked up at me with sad begging eyes. I poured the blood over the ground, “wake up Griever.”
“Not really,” I replied honestly after a moment as I continued preparing the knives.
“I’m going to do it,” he said stepping in. “Don’t worry about it.”
“It could go bad,” I said slowly.
“I’m aware,” he responded. “I’ve spent a considerable amount of time with this group you have here. Grown attached.” He sat down on the desk I was working at. “I haven’t been able to look Alana in the eye since it happened. Not like she’s been looking anywhere but Griever. It’s bad enough to loose one, but you know you’d loose the other too.”
“You don’t have to do this,” I said giving him the chance to opt out. “We wouldn’t think less of you.”
“You say this now,” Lukas said with a light laugh. “It wouldn’t be the same though. Besides, I mean what I said, I’ve grown attached. Like you, I won’t let a friend die with out a fight.”
I nodded and we were silent for a moment. “If I ask you a question, would you answer honestly?”
Lukas studied me for a moment, “of course.”
“Do... do you think I’m a bad mom,” I grumbled unable to look up and meet his eyes.
“Angelique... being a mother... it-it isn’t about being a great cook, or an excellent house keeper like you mentioned. Its about making the tough decisions, about protecting, nurturing, loving your child. I know you have done things most mothers would never be able to do.” Lukas said, his words crisp.
“Protecting...” I murmured. “I’m going to have to cut my child for his blood. That’s harming my son.”
“He will heal, just like I will, just like you will.” Lukas said, when I stayed silent, he continued. “You are teaching him a great lesson. To protect the ones you love. To fight for the ones you love. To never give up, such strong lessons many of us learn too late.”
I finished with the blades and wrapped them in cloth, I looked up at Lukas after a while, “thanks.”
He shrugged, “I know my words mean little to you next to the words of your father.” I opened my mouth to argue but he cut me off before I could begin. “Don’t deny it. He is your father, you spent your entire life following his orders, of course he isn’t happy you’ve gone against his wishes, and you aren’t happy because he’s let you have it. Harsher than any father ever should. Until he apologizes or complements you, you won’t feel right, you’ll keep questioning yourself.”
“I know,” I replied after a minute. I needed my father. Needed him to think I was good. I spent my life trying to please him, not piss him off. All the years I spent being a pleaser, one screaming match erased all good I’d ever done.
Lukas ruffled my hair affectionately, “he will come to his senses eventually.”
“What if he is right.”
“Angelique, your mothering skills-“
“Not about that... I’m worried about that, but I mean, what if he is right about tonight. What if... what if we don’t raise Griever, but just his body?”
“Then we will have to kill him again. For real.” Lukas responded. “I know it will be more difficult, but do we just let him stay dead? Do we let Alana walk out into the sunlight to turn to ash? Do we loose two friends in one night?”
I stood, “no, we don’t.”
He smiled sadly at me, “that’s right. We take care of each other. This world isn’t a very happy, peaceful place right now. We got to take care of our own.”
I nodded. “I have to get Alaric... and Adeline.”
“They won’t let each other out of each other’s sight?”
I shook my head with a faint smile. “They are so attached to each other.”
Lukas smiled, “how about I go and get them? You go talk to your father?”
I bit my bottom lip, “I doubt he wants to see me.”
“Don’t let bad blood spoil your relationship with your father. What if something does go wrong? Don’t let those words be the last to your father.”
I kicked the ground lightly a few times as I stared at the floor. I felt like a child being scolded by someone more wise than myself. “Your right,” I admitted eventually, as I looked up at him, “but I can’t face him. Not in light of what I’m about to do. He’s right.”
I walked past Lukas and into the hallway, he followed, “your father is a stubborn man.”
“I know I’m waiting for an apology that will never come.” I replied quickly, “I did live with him for most of my life. I know what he’s like to be around. He always thinks he’s right, and in most cases, he is.”
“But it could be the last thing...”
“I can’t think like that,” I argued a little more heatedly than I had intended. “I can’t think that this is going to go bad, that I could possibly die, because that leaves little hope for my son. I can’t think like that. I won’t.”
I turned and opened the door. Seth was still in bed, the children were drawing in charcoal. I walked over to Seth leaving Lukas at the door. I sat at his bedside, “how are you feeling.”
Seth smiled, he had such an adorable smile, a childish smile. Still I could see how much he’d aged in such a short span of time. “I’ve been better,” he looked at the children who didn’t seem to be paying any attention to our conversation, “do you think Griever will really raise?”
I shrugged, “I can’t not do something.”
“I wish I could do something,” Seth said quietly before coughing.
“You just get better,” I said placing my hand lightly on his chest before getting up and walking over to my children. “You guys ready to go?”
Alaric looked to Adeline then to me, “she stays.”
“No I don’t!” Adeline argued.
“Yes you do!”
“Nuhuh!”
“Children!” I intervened. “Addie, you don’t need to come.”
“I want to, I want to be with you and daddy and Rick.”
I fumbled to answer I couldn’t tell which would be worse, to separate them to protect them or to keep them apart to protect them. Which was safest? Adeline had already proven to be a force to be reckon with. Still I didn’t want to endanger her. Still she had developed her Soul Child abilities why Alaric’s Night Child abilities were growing. I mulled it over. “Alright, but you two stay together at all times, okay.”
They both agreed though while Adeline seemed chipper about it, Alaric seemed discontent and agitated.
Outside the air was brisk, I had the children dressed warmly, while my bare arms hardly even felt the lashes of the wind.
We walked, Alana sat hovering over Griever still. I had a pit of worry that she wouldn’t let us take him much less burry him. Helena and Markus stood at the side, spectators. The children went over to Viktor, hugging him with affection. “Markus, Helena,” I greeted them solemnly. “May I ask you a favour?”
“Of course, anything.” Helena responded quickly. I looked to Markus who nodded, his hand around Helena’s back.
“If... if this goes bad,” I looked to Markus who seemed guilty so I knew he was more aware of the ‘resurrection situation’ than most, “please get my children out of here.”
Helena looked sadly at me, “of course.”
“Nothing will go wrong.” Markus assured placing a careful hand onto my shoulder, “he’ll get back to the surface and tomorrow everything will be right back to normal.”
“Right,” I responded quietly before walking over to where Lukas and Alaric stood, Viktor and Adeline close by. I took out the knives and grabbed Alaric’s arm, “you don’t have to do this,” I offered him an out.”
He looked to the knife then to me then to the mound of dirt which he knew Griever had been buried under, then back to me, “I want to.”
“This will hurt,” I whispered. I cut his arm quickly and pulled it over the chalice. I looked at him, his face distorted in pain as he hissed I heard Adeline quietly crying. I looked up and seen her in Viktor’s arms, he was murmuring comfort into her ear. I kissed his forehead and when there was enough blood I put my hand over the wound healing it quickly even though I knew his body could do the same. I kissed his forehead, “you are a very brave boy, a little hero.”
He smiled at me before turning around and going to his father and sister. Lukas went next cutting his arm quickly and bleeding over the chalice, he had to cut a few times since the wounds would heal faster than he would bleed.
Finally it was my turn, I heard Adeline cry out as I cut my skin, I looked over my shoulder as I kept my arm over the jewelled chalice, “don’t worry sweety, I’m okay.” She looked at me with wide watery eyes, pouting lips. Now that the blood of three were there I healed up and stirred the blood with my knife.
I stood and walked over to the mound of dirt. Alana was kneeling nervously, fidgeting, her nails biting into the ground. She looked up at me with sad begging eyes. I poured the blood over the ground, “wake up Griever.”